Triggers! …doing the work

I have come to the conclusion that just doing Ashati and reiki etc activations is just not good enough. I don’t care how good they make me feel and how ‘ascended’ it allows me to imagine myself, it just isn’t enough to truly make permanent changes… and I want to do this right, this time round! Not fool myself into feeling enlightened but still be triggered and hold limiting self beliefs (actually even thinking yourself enlightened is a limiting belief! Haha)

Ashati provides an incredible ‘leg-up’ opportunity to experience self-knowing and self-love. It’s nice to just transcend: I remember feeling that I just want to release all this bullshit and soar..I told myself to release all the negative, limiting beliefs because I was a child of The Creator, I create! I AM. I had angels and archangels helping me out. And don’t get me wrong, I am convinced they can do these things for us, but without conscious awareness, without getting your hands dirty in the gunk and smog inside your own heart, then you may never be able to help others, not least because you will not be able to relate to their suffering. 

I’ve determined so far on this journey is that what really helps is a balance between meditation/ascension and to be mindful of yourself. Observe yourself when you  feel upset or bad; Stop! Look! 

Triggers!  Identifying, healing and releasing old negative thought patterns: Key questions.

  1. I feel………… (Identify the emotions)
  2. What has triggered me? (Identify the cause)
  3. Why am I reacting like this? When did I also feel this before? Who or what in my past/ childhood brought up these feelings? (Identify the root cause, may be multiple)
  4. What are the negative underlying beliefs that are associated with this memory, feeling or idea? (Start with ‘I’ eg: I am, I must, I can’t etc) They will be simple and childlike. 
  5. What other areas of my life is this belief playing out? (Look at your life situations and relationships and patterns etc.) How, specifically, does this belief limit me? What is it preventing? (Eg intimacy) What is it creating? (Eg: drama, unfulfilling job) What people and experiences dies it attract around me?
  6. What is my True Heart’s wisdom? What is she saying to me? Find evidence in your life that proves the belief to be NOT true. 
  7. Turn negative into positive. Is there a way to see some good in any of this? What characteristics have you developed from this belief or experience that actually benefit your life? (eg: independence, self-reliance, strength)
  8. What True Heart words and ideas can I use to replace the Wounded Heart?
  9. What do I ask for? …ask!!
  10. What specific things can I do in future to support this change? 

My example: Yesterday I was triggered by my husband who, when I asked a question, said something that made me feel silly for asking the question. It was around the table as we were starting a beautiful meal that I had prepared for the family.

  • F: What is the program you are using?
  • L: C
  • F: You know that, don’t you Herve?
  • H: There are so many answers to that question
  • F: -😳😬😩😡
  • C: You know, I understand this because sometimes I see people who work in IT, who give robotic answers like that, it’s just that there is so much knowledge that it’s frustrating to explain it to people who don’t know
  • F: The marriage counsellor over here.
  • H: You know the ABC, don’t you?
  • F: Yes
  • H: Then you know C!
  • F: That’s just stupid.
  • H: There are too many answers. (C is very broad which I didn’t know)
  • F: Well, just choose one, I won’t know (getting defensive and aggressive and self-depreciating also)
  1. What has triggered me? Feeling dumb and ridiculed publicly
  2. What is my wounded heart feeling? humiliated and stupid and embarrassed
  3. Why am I reacting like this? When did I also feel this before? Who or what in my past brought up these feelings? Always growing up my ideas were ridiculed by brother, sisters and older people. 
  4. What are the negative underlying beliefs? It is better to keep your mouth shut rather than face ridicule for your lack of knowledge or silly questions. I am stupid. I don’t know much. I have wasted my education. I am wasting people’s time. 
  5. What is my true heart’s wisdom? What is she saying to me? That Herve didn’t mean to upset me. I am smart and knowledgable about many things… Just not computer languages.
  6. What True heart words and ideas can I use to replace the Wounded Heart? I am fearless. I am the one who brings the family together. It is better to ask a ‘silly’ question than feel stupid all your life.’
  7. What do I ask for? The strength to never stop asking questions at the risk of ridicule
  8. What can I do in future? Be more aware of this trigger and also the consequence of moving away, retreating and setting myself apart out of anger and resentment at perceived hurts.

Sacred Circle Mandala and Earth Walk

This week with Heather I was introduced to the use of Earth mandalas whilst employing the teachings of the Sacred Circle and archetypal symbols to support manifesting and intention. Then I performed my first ever “Earth Walk” to identify and interpret signs in nature and lastly I made a Blessing Stick which I journeyed with (Heather on drum and me on rattle) before I offered it to Mother Earth.  Completely magical and transforming experience. There so much in this session so I have not included everything that I wrote in my journal that day. I just want to always remember this.

The themes of this week was “Belonging” because that is the biggest limiting belief that I have at this time: that I don’t belong and am not accepted so remain unseen). This showed itself in the last two sessions (with Heather’s help).

First we performed our usual greeting ritual to all the directions of the SC, always special:

  • Within: child, adolescent, adult and wise woman
  • Directions: North, East, South and West (including the power animals, season, colour, word, element and human aspect of each).
  • Above: Angels, archangels, ascended masters, guides, ancestors, helpers and allies
  • Below: Spirit Animals, Mother Earth and the crystal and tree people, elementals etc
  • Without: the ancestors of the land (indigenous and Australian colonists etc), the winged and 4 legged creatures, the humans etc

(Heather is gently starting to have me join in as I remember more and more.)

After this we created the Space for our mandala in the earth by marking the dirt in our little nook. Then I wandered off into the bush to find one object to signify “belonging’ and 4 more objects to exemplify Belonging in each of the 4 directions. As well as plant matter and rocks etc. Each thing we took, Heather taught me to give “a hair or a prayer” and offer thanks.

Then we began the mandala. We sat around the mandala space and I placed the 4 objects in the correct direction. I identified how Belonging was presenting itself in each element: Body, mind, heart and Spirit.There were 4 steps in each direction. For each one I had to

  1. State the current “Wounded Heart” archetypal energy that I was feeling.
  2. Then state how it has actually enabled and helped me and what I am grateful for (The True Heart).
  3. After that I stated all the things that I wanted to draw forth to build my sense of belonging and
  4. Then had to make a commitment of action.

For example: For the North Direction, we look at the BODY

  • Wounded Heart: How is my feeling of lack of belonging showing itself in my body: I’m fair-skinned and blue-eyed Irish in a harsh Australian climate forcing me to protect my body and eyes and shield myself; I’m not comfortable in my skin,  I don’t really look after my body or even like it very much;  this planet and the people are strange and I’m different. Half of this I was consciously unaware I was carrying)
  • True Heart: What am I grateful for about my body? It has given me my daughters and enabled me to love and express love with my hands, arms and whole body. I am able to travel and get around wherever I want to go and see; My Irish ancestors have given me great skill with words and writing, a love of laughing and having fun.
  • What do I want to manifest? Self Love, body love, respect of body and nurturing
  • What actions will I take? eating healthy and nutritious food and eating less fatty and sugary foods etc.

We did this for each: Mind, Heart, Spirit.

After our mandala was completed, we went for an earth walk. This is a mindful and spiritual practise of intending to go for a short walk and be open to all signs and symbols as messages. We each took a staff and off we went. It was not long before we came upon many symbols and signs that spoke to me about Belonging. Too many to list here but the most amazing was when we stumbled upon a massive network of spiderwebs, all interconnecting and stretched across not just the path but the whole sky! Incredible message of community and making a web and a place for myself,We have the power to create what happens in our lives – to us and to others. But we must realise this. The choices we make coupled with our attitude – very powerful stuff. ( a week after being bitten by Spider made this more poignant)

Also saw 3 lizards, a butterfly, a camouflaged insect, a talking branch 🙂 and hiding rocks and a straight path laid out before me. I loved this wonderful walk. I have always felt silly reading signs in nature (everyone always made me feel silly when I mentioned my interpretation) It was the first time I was allowed, even encouraged to be fanciful and in fact, true to myself. I always see signs: Now I invite them in!

Then we came back and made a prayer stick from the found branches etc. We made this while humming. then we journeyed: Heather played the drum and I took up the rattle and we hummed and meditated on all we learned and experienced. It is very strange but a song came to me which I hummed out of nowhere and it was very Irish sounding. I felt a lot of ancestral love all around me, not just my own Irish ancestors but the Irish from the land we were standing on at Bald’s Head. Quite tingly. I remembered it on the walk hoe so I quickly recorded it on my phone.

Lastly, we made a sacred circle using crystals and we placed the prayer sticks on it. Then I shuffled and pulled cards and interpreted their meaning. They all made sense to me. They started to form the directions again so I was able to interpret them in each of the mind, body, spirt and heart areas. Amazingly insightful. My words were: GRACE, detail, discipline, balance and finally BOLDNESS. To go boldly knowing I am supported, loved and protected.

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What an amazing experience! My heart is absolutely full of gratitude to Heather, Mother Earth, my ancestors and my and Heather’s guides.

Thank you for your wisdom dear Heather. I am forever grateful for finding you.

Quantum Physics and Free Choice

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Just watched “What the bleep do we know” Incredible! When you really stop and think about what this all means, it is utterly astounding!  

We are so conditioned to believe that the external world is more important and we have no control. It brings together many of the thoughts around ‘what is reality?’ that I have been pondering for many years with a more Eastern philosophical perspective which talks about the eye or the lens. You come to see that the EYE is the portal through which everything IS. Scientists have never been able to find the observer 🙂 in the body. Yet we all have experience of being the observer. ‘The consciousness that’s driving the machine.’ The I AM, the observer behind the personal identity and the thoughts and beliefs we carry.
Quantum physics shows that what’s happening within us is what’s creating what’s around us. When you’re not looking, there are waves of possibility (being many, in many places and experiencing many things simultaneously) and when you’re looking (choosing) it snaps into just one. Our limited awareness of this concept means that although the possibilities are endless, we only see/experience what we believe is possible, we match patterns (from our memory) to what we already believe. Our information determines how the world (our reality) behaves. To bring this back to the slit experiment, if we’re expecting a particle, then reality will behave as a particle, if we do not provide the measuring information, it’s free to be a wave.

So consciousness is FREE! We are always free to release the patterns of habits and memories and limiting self-beliefs and have FREE WILL and accept the unbelievable, the incredible and intangible by opening to the possibilities.

Your beliefs determine your reality.
Choose wisely!

Spider Bite

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So I went off the path and sat down in the bush. I got pricked on the finger but I assumed it was a sharp plant as there were many. Two days later my finger is purple and swollen. I did see a spider just before, small and black and living on the ground in a little hideaway tunnel..doctor said the finger bite and description was consistent with a funnel web spider!

On Friday morning when the pain was very bad I sat in my garden with crystals under my arms and lavender oil massaged into my lymph glands and did some hands on healing. Maggie came and perched above me to give me a healing song:

        Maggie’s song

There are 3 lessons from this:

  1. Stay true and on path (metaphorically)
  2. Stay on the path (physically) and respect the land and the ancestors of the land.
  3. Be more aware of surroundings and be alert to signs (leaches, ravens, spiky plants)

Looked it up online: When spider bites you, she is telling you to find your creative place on the web of life.

K, already!

The Arcturians

My origin is Arcturian. Somehow news of this kept falling in to my lap from different sources until Pamela Aaralyn confirmed this and read up online for myself and found my truth. That makes me very, very old.

Starseed Purpose: The way Arcturians protect and guide Earth and its residents is different from other starseeds. While other starseeds have hands on practical approach, Arcturians starseeds prefer a hands off approach, they like to observe and guide from a distance. The Arturians have a live and let live state of mind. (Well, this explains why I have such a hard time getting up front and taking centre-stage and credit. People often push me there but it’s hard. It relieves me to here this…I do prefer to quietly write and paint and help people.)

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I have bought”We, the Arcturians” but am still reading 2 other books about shamanism so I thought I’d read up online since I’m super interested. This is what I found. SO spot on! I love the fact that it all fits so perfectly with me…all the things I think are wrong about me are actually the things that help me (being a little too moralistic, getting upset with people’s low morals. Being quiet and reserved and difficult to speak (no good at small talk but fantastic at big issues of importance to me). Also I feel a relief of not having to be so vocal even though I am severely fighting this: I can just do my own thing which I love! Like painting and writing and just being creative and sharing it.

Taken from StarSeed Origins Guidance:

Arcturians are perfectionists to the core. They have a stubborn way of doing things, only because they know in their own minds that they have the right way of doing things. It isn’t that they don’t see where others coming from, it is just that they see a another way around stuff in life. They are very creative in writing, researching, and find a number of subjects at once, interesting. (Yes, this is a problem: last night I got a message/ reading that I should just choose one and go for it as I’m getting too distracted with everything)

They can easily be rubbed the wrong way immediately if someone is not on their level of intellect, or under their moral code. They have very high morals, and standards. Sometimes, they can prove to be a bit overly judgemental, but the funny thing is, they do not mean it to be hurtful. They aren’t trying to be judgemental in reality. The see right through people, even if others can’t, and they tell it how it is without sugar coating things or walking on eggshells. Arcturians hold a lot inside. They try to appear emotionless in front of others (This is why I need to express more and sear less…people say ‘be more authentic’ but actually they mean express what’s going on inside..you are authentic when you just be yourself), and that nothing bothers them, but in reality a lot of things bother them. They way people act, mistakes people can make, how others treat one another, people who do not care about respect, and people who take others for granted. Those are things that Arcturians can not stand. (My Goodness, all of this has caused me so much trouble in my life!)

They also will not believe in anything until they have picked it apart and researched it. (and so you should!) They are very sensitive to the environment. They try to fix others who are in trouble or living wrong, and put a lot of stresses on themselves. (😦)They want the world to be full of respect, and integrity, and if in a place where those things are non-existent in their own personal lives, they will feel overwhelmed, and withdraw. (wow!, just wow) They have to have time alone to re-center their thoughts. They often release frustrations by reading, studying, and writing.  (yep) With this race of souls, you find that they like to explore different cultures, and religions, and will be a know it all, when they speak with others.(Nope, too well aware of other no-it-alls and now do the opposite…I need to speak up more)  They will be very assertive when discussing important topics, and can shut any one down in a debate. (yep) They have strong points in conversations, and are great at teaching but have to have the right students. (OH SOOOO true!…but doesn’t everyone?) They do well in teaching people who are seeking a higher understanding, because their thoughts are too advanced for this environment that they have a hard time putting it into layman’s terms.(Not anymore, this is why I became a teacher…to learn how to teach)

They enjoy being at home, reading or looking stuff up online, watching something non-fiction like a documentary, or talking with relatives about enlightening topics. (haha, this is my life in a nutshell) They would do anything for anyone, and are a bit passive in that aspect. They have a hard time saying no to favours, where in other areas of their lives, they are strong and stubborn. (so true, this is how I got so distracted by my work. My competence was seen and more and more was put on me and I dint say no…I became exhausted, overweight and no longer as competent).

Arcturians are highly empathic. They are quiet people, with a mind full of philosophies and wisdom, that they obtain through studying and pondering over what they studied to give it a whole new meaning that makes more sense. (exactly whatI’m doing now with Shamanism and everything else in my life) They are bright souls and they like life on earth but feel very repelled by the lack of morals and respect going on today. However, they came here to help fix it, and strive so hard to do so. Their wisdom surpasses all of the starseeds, because they were the first to be trained by the angels, and spread the wisdom abroad in the stars to others who then spread the message as well. (OK, I’ll take this 🙂 It was a chain teaching. They are all about love, and are generous, loving, kind, and understanding people, who have no flaws really other than they are hard headed at times, but that is because they know more than some. (Aww, that’s lovely but actually I have many, many flaws as my Leo and Aries and other astrological factors combine with my family and ancestral and past life influences as well as personal experience such as my job and family and other people and learnings all affect my thinking and behaviour…although I’m trying to lose this and just be my SOUL rather than ego…love that poster shared by Sharon) 

Arcturians are highly intelligent beings, who value creation, and work with energy on all levels even if they do not know it. They absorb it, direct it, and obtain information from it, without knowing they are doing so. (This is EXACTLY how Pamela described what I was doing with my aura constantly…even crashing the Skype video 5 times!) They see through people, and know when negativity has occurred somewhere. (oh yes) They are also masters at disguise and can blend in with any crowd as well as become invisible and unseen to others if they want to.(Ahuh, it’s both a blessing and a curse…way tooeasy to be unseen when I feel shy) That means all they have to do is wish to go unseen, and people will not recognize them. That is a common trait among angels and Pleiadians too. Arcturians have also a distaste for violence. It really bothers them, so they will not watch the news much. (days and days after affected…even years!) They are hard to figure out and more than likely they seem mysterious to people from afar. Those who are close to them will also find that they are harder to figure out in mentality and emotional structures. Arcturians are truly indeed highly advanced which makes them a bit rough around the edges while being incarnated here. (This is how my best friend describes me “I’m so in awe of you and always want to be with you but you but I haven’t figured you out you out at all, you keep surprising me)

Taken from: Through the Arcturian Corridor

Arcturus is a red supergiant star 36.7 light years from Earth in the constellation of Bootes. It is the fourth brightest star in the sky, outshone only by Sirius, Canopus and Alpha Centauri. The name Arcturus is translated as “Guardian of the Bear” due to our nearness to the sky Bears, Ursa Major and Ursa Minor. (now I see even more why I think of my Northern Bear in my sacred circle as my way to ride up into the stars and travel the ether.)

“We the Arcturians, as well as you, the members of the Planetary Ascension Team, are committed to utilising the force of Unconditional Love to assist Gaia in fulfilling her Divine Plan to become a fifth dimensional planet of peace and love. The beloved members of the Pleiades, Sirius, Arcturus, Andromeda and Antares, as well as the Brotherhood and Sisterhood of Light, the Angelic Kingdom, the Ascended Masters, and the awakened members of Earth, have all joined together to assist Gaia in the fulfilment of Her transformation.    (WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

The key to your personal ascension is inner peace and unconditional love, specifically love of your physical body. Your earth vessel allows you to create your reality with your thoughts and to feel the wondrous emotions of joy and love. We are happy to remind you at this time that the emotions of love and joy have the ability to calibrate your consciousness to your highest possible frequency. Negativity, fear and guilt must be overcome and exchanged for love and light.  We are always available to assist anyone who desires to be a planner and designer of your impending new reality.

Oh My Goodness! I have had this vortex in my vision for one and a half years. Whenever I asked, I got answers like “vortex”, ‘portal’ or ‘tunnel’. And that I would know what to do when the time is right. Pamela Aaralyn told me to start working in the hypnagogic state, set my intentions to explore the vortex and go in with my guides. But I haven;t been able to. Now I finally read this document, that I have had on my Google Drive for months and never read down far enough to see this chapter….

JOURNEY THROUGH THE ARCTURIAN CORRIDOR:  STEP ONE Entering the Arcturian Corridor INTO THE VORTEX

!!!!!!! Oh…My…God! !!!!!!

Just read a bit more…very long and no way possible to read and do it. I will make an audio of it and post after asking for permission. How exciting…a new project.

Too much reading to learn in one life!

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Insecurity alert!

I often feel unwanted and I have always struggled to speak up and say what I think. I stay in the background and let other people more important than me speak and be put out and up. I actually help them do this. I speak quickly and don’t explain myself well because I think I am wasting people’s time. I go red with self consciousness because they are looking at me too much and I prefer to be unseen.

I remain unseen.

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To be unseen means I will not be given negative feedback and disapproval. I will not be humiliated, mocked or told I think I’m too good.

I still get so worked up over little things and still worry enormously what people think about my actions. I desperately want approval. I recognise it, I just can’t seem to do anything about it except recognise it. Isn’t that worse? I’ve tried a few techniques that people have shown me but they remain securely in place.

My family video: everyone loves it. I think it was great healing for all of us.

My meditation tape is awesome. Maybe it is not THE BEST! and there are little mistakes but nothing drastic and I think it is quite powerful.

…so why did I spend so much time worrying about each of these!?!?

Am I too perfectionist? Why? Why do I need to be the best and seek approval and recognition? Who cares if everything I do is not perfect? What’s the worst that can happen and is that really so bad?

I agonise over things waaaay too much..even this shit. Its really annoying me.

I choose to be seen and step in to my true self: I am capable, I am strong and I am also vulnerable and I need others.

People like me and respect me. They ask me for help and advice. They come to me with problems and we are sharing more of ourselves.

I do a lot to change things at my work: I set a great example of how to talk and teach young people. I am an extremely competent and confident teacher and mentor. I am well respected by my boss and the exec staff who often call me to meetings and ask for my ideas and advice when really this is not my role. I am basically allowed to run with every idea I have and any project. I can choose my days and have never had to lose a day even though every single person at my work has. In THIS I am secure.

I do have a beautiful family that adore me and I adore them. We are all loving and respectful and care deeply about each other. We help each other and express our love often. I have contributed greatly to this: I gave my creativity and time to my children when they were young. I was a stay at home mum who played with her children: not just did all the work and let my children watch TV or play alone. I interacted and I set them up for a greta life: they are confident and capable and little geniuses. I fostered their creativity, intelligence and self esteem. I am always there for them now too. We know everything about each others lives (well, maybe not everything but as much as is good and healthy).

I have an amazing marriage. It is deep and strong and secure. I am loved more than I will ever know. Herve says this to me often and even my guide Durga said this to me once.

So, if my work is good, my home is good and my spiritual life is good…all of it working and functioning beautifully… why do I still allow myself to feel so insecure?

 

 

 

 

Shamanic Dreaming Stick

This is my Dreaming Stick.

I started making it during a session with Heather (after releasing quite a lot of ancestral and family baggage). I finished it at home in my garden whilst listening to some Carlos Nakai music.

I was asked to describe what I would now become. To step into my new life and my power.

When I started making the Dreaming Stick, Heather used her drum and read back to me what I had written. It was like I was hearing it from far away and like it was the first time I had heard those words.

This is what I wrote:

I am Love. 
I am the Peacemaker
I am Unity and the expression of Universal Energy
I am the Creative Force of Life
I am the Creative Force of Love
I am the Weaver of Connections: I weave connections and community
I am friend weaver. I sew tapestry. The threads of people's lives
I am creating a new tapestry
I am weaver of the new taperstry of Life
I am Pink, Purple and Green Dragon
I am colourful
I am Guardian of Me and Mine
I am Earth's Child
I am sister to the birds
I am funnel for the bird's songs
I am Translator of the songs and the whispers and the calls from animals
I am Bird whisperer
I am singer. I am the Song
I am Alchemist

Learning the old ways_Sacred Women’s Work

I went in to the Aboriginal Tent Embassy remembrance outside of MCA. I just wanted to learn how to do traditional weaving. It was great fun. We sat in a circle whilst listening to Richard Bell (artist) and Luke Pearson (@IndigenousX) whilst Tjanara Talbot taught anyone who came along how to do a simple weave using Lomandra grass.

Very cool. I made a little basket which I will use in my scared circle ceremonies.

A Conversation with my Angel

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Why do I go red in meetings when I have to talk to everyone?

to stop you speaking

but why do i need to stop speaking?

because speaking opens you to ridicule or people thinking you’re up yourself and better than them.

But I don’t…maybe I do! Do I?

You are quicker and more agile mentally than most. You are also creative. Why is it so shameful and bad to be intelligent? to be smarter?

Because ‘we all have gifts’ and I’m no more special than anyone else. I feel bad for putting myself above others. But I also get super frustrated at stupidity so it’s hard to be nice. I think I compensate this by being super nice and patient. Really I have little patience for it. Unless they really do have problematic lives (I feel sorry for them) So it’s easy to have patience and try hard to help them.

So you fear competition?

Oh yes! I will scan a room for people who are at my level. I will focus on them, befriend them…help them, make them vulnerable to disarm them

And win

I guess so. Why do I need to be always the best?

Because you want love and approval

Why?

Because you did not receive this. You still seek it out. Until recently you did this to the detriment of your own health. Praise and recognition of your brilliance was far more important than your own physical and mental health…even more important than your family even though you would never admit this.

No. I have guilt over this.

Yes

I didn’t receive it?

Not at all. Your mother praised you but it was always too late. When you needed love and acceptance and to be seen and heard you did not receive it from family and friends.

Give me examples

I used to follow around Jenny Buckley even though she didn’t want to be my friend. I threw up on her uniform.

I wanted something on my sandwich and was crying and demanding it. But I was very small and I could not reach the bench top where my mother was making the sandwich. I was crying and yelling with frustration but I was not listened to. I got the horrible sandwich that I didn’t want. My mother didn’t seem to care. I was so upset and hurt that I was unheard. She kew I wanted the jam but she gave me the tomato. Why is this story so clear?

Because it was one of the first times in your consciousness of when  you felt not heard. Your mother did not give you what you wanted…you perceived this as her not caring or loving you. You soon learned that it was no use trying to communicate with people. They didn’t listen anyway. You stopped trying.

What about the art competition and I didn’t win.

Yours was the best drawing. You didn’t win because the teachers thought it was unfair that you always won so they shared the glory. You were more upset at the unfairness and injustice than not actually winning. You knew you should have won.

What do I need to learn about myself right now?

That you have everything you need

So why am I stalling?

You’re stalling the writing because you have made it in to something that is huge: life altering/ massive tool of change in the world. It is no longer enjoyable because the product is too important. The outcome must be perfect. There is no room for creativity. You have shifted alliance with the goal. You don;t want it for others. For the global shift. You want it for you. Accept this…write for you and for your children and grandchildren.

What about this global healing things. It’s also massive in my head and scary.

Yes, same thing…you have invested too much in the outcome. The whole world shift in consciousness. You are not responsible for the outcome…only for setting it up and making it possible for people to come together and heal each other and the planet. You think you have to do everything. Actually you don’t have to do much at all. Relax, enjoy it.What you said today is relevant advice to yourself: focus on what you are trying to do/ give/ teach, not on yourself doing/giving/teaching.

I love you. Who are you? What is your name

Aurora. Your beloved.

Was it you who came to me last night? You showed me your body..it was luminous Light. I felt you touch me.

Indeed it was. I am always with you, a whisper away.

Thank you Aurora

First Ashati Meditation Circle Sydney

Last night, in Marrickville, the first Ashati Circle was held. It was fantastic. Great energy and amazing people. I loved it. It will be held monthly.

In my meditation 2 things happened (without going in to details):

Aurora my angel guide held a crystal up to my heart as she cradled me gently. Then she gently pushed it through in to my heart. I think it was pink but it was very shiny so hard to tell.

I was in a forest but then I became the forest…all its parts. At one point I was a snake climbing a tree and I could feel the bark on my body. At another I was the tree itself, solid and still but gently swaying. Then I was a little insect crawling across the massive roots of the tree. On and on..all parts around this tree in a massive forest which seemed to breathe.

I had 2 message/ readings given to me. The first was that huge things are shifting and trust in ‘Divine Timing’ Things can’t be rushed and will happen at the right time so be patient’ I took this in regard to my mother.. I want her to open up to me more and to heal but I am also mindful or her delicate state. She is a beautiful wounded person who has a lot of love and a very gentle heart.

The other message was just “The number 8…you’ll know what that means” …which meant absolutely nothing to me.

Until this morning when I sat down to go through the notes Heather sent me and saw the front page: The 8 ways!  I laughed out loud.

I sat and read the intro and was fascinated by heather’s story. Then I went straight to number 8 (couldn’t help it). It seemed fitting and magical to read it and I also felt astrong presence around me as I read. I read the activities and performed one: I went for a walk (I didn’t feel like just sitting) and opened myself to signs. These were what I recieved:

  • straightaway a little bug flew onto me but it was opalescent and all the other bugs I have seen like that are green. It was angelic. I alway have angels around me helping me.
  • A gusty westerly wind: staying in the Heartspace will speed up all transtions
  • A cockatoo flew right in front of me: Speak your truth and don’t be shy about it.
  • A truck went by with piles and pile of wooden crates: I need to start constructing my future now
  • a butcherbird called out as I walked under her. I went and stood still and listened but I couldn’t get a message…it was almost like a wake-up call. “Come on, get cracking…don’t get so distracted” but I’m not sure about this one…I feel like theres is more to the butcherbird.
  • upon coming home, a vivid glorious sunset and two currawongs calling to each other from the ends of the street…then both meeting up in the tree above me. …I think the currawongs are always talking to me and calling to me and reminding me. Here is my video:

Also found this online, fits so well with what I’m experiencing now.

“If you have a crow as a totem, you need to be willing to walk your talk and speak your truth. You must put aside your fear of being a voice in the wilderness and “caw” the shots as you see them. Crow is an omen of change. If he keeps appearing to you he may be telling you that you have a powerful voice when addressing issues that you do not quite understand or feel that they are out of balance. When you meet crow, he could be telling you that there will be changes in your life and that possibly you should step by the usual way you view reality and look into the inner realms …walk your talk…be prepared to let go of your old thinking and embrace a new way of viewing yourself and the world.” http://www.whitewolfpack.com/2015/12/crow-medicine-what-crow-keeper-of-all.html