Day 16- Ascension 5 Tarot Reading

Oh My God! This is just getting worse and worse. I just gave myself a tarot reading and said ‘No matter what, I will listen to this’ then I laid out the cards UPSIDE DOWN! The entire spread was negative and horrible but because I asked for Truth, honesty, love and compassion and also that I would accept it no matter what I now have no escape from the messages.

The spread and interpretation:

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  1. What’s happening now_Page of wands reversed: delays, talking but not doing it. (Answer: Work Hard towards the goal, you can do anything!)
  2. What’s crossing me for good or bad_King of Pentacles reversed: wealth and opulence and laziness, complains but does nothing to change it. (Answer: Get cracking and be a business minded person…there will be success through self worth of a job well done, action required)
  3. The root cause or basis and inner feelings_9 of wands reversed:looking back and focussing on the negatives (Answer: Stop delaying and start doing!)
  4.  Past…what’s leaving_3 of wands reversed: Can’t move forward, delays, not right timing (Answer: Make decisions!)
  5. What crowns me, the possible outcomes if nothing changes_Death reversed: refusing change, stagnation, fear and resentment, holding on to the old. (Answer: Look differently like the Hanged Man, change your perspective!).
  6. Near future_Wheel of Fortune reversed: Life has its ups and downs but all things change, get ready for change (Answer: meditate and go within for wise counsel, reassess, write and plan then shine your light on the world)
  7. My own negative feelings_8 of pentacles reversed: Lacking commitment to the work at hand. (Answer:Don’t give up! Look long term and work steadily towards the goal, it will be fruitful!)
  8. The feelings of others around me_Magician reversed: ungrounded, scattered thoughts and energy, feeling empty. (Answer: It’s not working so get back to intuition, go back to being the Fool: take the leap of faith in innocence and trust and have no fear of not knowing)
  9. My own positive feelings_Judgment reversed: I DONT KNOW! there’s no clarity. Self doubt and self judgement. Overly hard or critical of myself. Trying to avoid external  judgement through inaction, fear of not passing the test/ failing. (Answer: Be creative, proactive and have fun like the Sun, don’t take life so seriously. There has been momentum building , now is not the time for shyness, doubt, hesitation)
  10. The Outcome_Queen of swords reversed: No insight, critical of self and others, stirs up drama, bitter and resentful. (Answer: Be swift and quick witted and smart. See an opportunity where no-one else does and go for it with all your efforts…mentally, physically and emotionally!)

Stuck in old ways, thinking negative things about people I have already left..secretly happy when things go wrong and dramas because that helps to justify my decisions. Not liking people but still thinking about them, even talking about them even though I never see them. Stirring up problems and drama.

Not committing…thinking everything is already very comfortable and safe and cosy and scared of moving out and onwards. Stuck in old patterns of thinking and scared of change. Wanting the best of both worlds ..my dog, my girls and family and friends but also dissing them and complaining that I am stuck…that they keep me stuck. Which they don’t at all. I’m quite capable of doing whatever I want.

For our move…I thought of all the things that would go wrong rather than really planning for the changes ahead. I ‘knew’ Herve would make it happen, I sat on my laurels and did nothing much in preparation. I focussed on the past, ate and watched videos.

Uncommitted to my new life..still dwelling on the old. Not showing a disciplined approach to the work…one minute saying how brilliant I am and the next doing a little bit of work before relaxing and rewarding myself with whatever…coffees, movies etc. Extremely lazy and not showing much dedication to what I want,…because I’m not sure I do want it…I find reasons why I don;”t do things or even why it would not be a good idea to have them be successful. And then complain because I am not successful!

I know this is related to my lucid dream in the last post…I need to stay out of that pool and start looking to the future with positive thinking and manifesting…by actually DOING what needs to be done!

I will relax into the new way of being and thinking…I am Light and Love and I have support. I can grow and change. I am capable and confident and smart and creative. I can be disciplined and active. I will lose the weight, get active with my business and start the new journey ahead. No more mucking around in self indulgent nonsense and no more getting involved with gossip and drama and bad karma.

 

What to do?

  • Work Hard towards the goal, you can do anything! 
  • Get cracking and be a business minded person…there will be success through self worth of a job well done, action required so start putting your mental clarity towards it, stop moping around feeling lost. 
  • Stop delaying and start doing!
  • Make decisions!
  • Look differently like the Hanged Man, change your perspective and look at things with new eyes!
  • Meditate and go within for wise counsel, reassess, write and plan then shine your light on the world
  • It’s not working so get back to intuition, go back to being the Fool: take the leap of faith in innocence and trust and have no fear of not knowing
  • Don’t give up! Look long term and work steadily towards the goal, it will be fruitful!
  • It’s not working so get back to intuition, go back to being the Fool: take the leap of faith in innocence and trust and have no fear of not knowing
  • Be creative, proactive and have fun like the Sun, don’t take life so seriously
  • Be swift and quick witted and smart. See an opportunity where no-one else does and go for it with all your efforts…mentally, physically and emotionally!

Forge ahead and be a successful business woman…painter, healer, reader, writer, spiritual guide.

Thank you Tarot!

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