Feeling stuck and lost are the emotional, mental and physical manifestations of beliefs.
A belief is just a repeated thought that is concentrated so much that it manifests into form as “real”. Beliefs only exist because we have created and confirmed and maintained them.
Beliefs can exist on a personal level, ie: I’m unworthy’, “I am poor”. But they also exist on the nation or even world consciousness level, ie: “We need to protect our borders”, “Muslims are terrorists’. If enough people invest in the concept (or are relentlessly manipulated through fear to accept it), it grows and grows into a belief, often existing within a system of beliefs that support it, ie: “the world is unsafe!’ This reality exists because the majority have chosen to agree for it to exist and we have repeated the thoughts that created it, in order to maintain its existence.
The wise ones say that things exist but have no inherent existence. We are such creative beings that we have created powerful beliefs that many do not question: even the things we think are inherent, like human rights and equality. These beliefs can be so culturally ‘ingrained’ that it is hard to go against the flow. We have created whole institutions around our beliefs. Schools exist in physical form because we believe that ‘education is important’ and this is what we have come up with and maintained as a collective. Marriage exists because we believe that a man and a woman together is ‘natural’ and they should commit …and then have a baby in this partnership (of course there are more open minded versions around the world thank goodness). We are so creative we then create more and more rules and beliefs within our institutions: Priests can’t be sexually active, wealthy or married because these worldly things are ‘wrong’ and should be removed as they would just distract and prevent them from reaching spiritual heights. They did not realise that we need to be grounded, rooted and secure and balanced in all ways physically in order to expand in awareness and spiritualiry.
But trying to go outside the boundary of group norms and cultural beliefs can be tricky.
People publicly proclaim and defend a belief. We love it when we find others who support our beliefs because then we feel vindicated, safe, comfortable. We know the routine. It’s easy to know and be told what to do and how to think. It’s far easier to know that you just need to show up, be on time, wear the accepted clothes and share the beliefs of everyone around you, even if you all complain and hate what you do day after day.
Just questioning some beliefs will be met with ridicule, condemnation, anger, disgust or worse. That’s because it threatens the safe and comfortable world of not having to think too much about changing beliefs. Most people like to think they are ‘different’ to everyone else but are usually more comfortable with security, predictability and boredom than risking insecurity, disappointment and challenge. Just the idea of change is scary enough.
This exists in all areas…not just the everyday existence of the 9 to 5 tax paying ‘decent and fair-minded’ battlers. It also exists amongst the more spiritually minded people and even amongst the smaller groups that think they exist outside any system. We ALWAYS exist within group belief boundaries, no matter the group we belong to or its size.
So how does all of this relate to being stuck?
When your level of consciousness starts to rise and you start to question things …but you are still living within the very belief systems and individuality-limiting institutions and groups, …you start to feel different. This is really, really scary! No one wants to be alone, outcast, side-lined. So even though the ground beneath you (that held you up and supported you for so long) starts to crumble beneath your feet, you stay. You just start scrabbling at all the broken pieces to put them back in place under your feet and be comfortable again. You deny that anything is wrong “it’s not so bad..it’s better than…”, or you delay, “next year I’ll…I’ll just wait til….,” or you drink or take drugs or do anything other than leaving the existence that you have outgrown, but is still safe and familiar ….and on and on it goes.
You are stuck.
Unable to go back due to outgrowing the old, unable to move forward due to fear of the unknown.
How to get unstuck?
What Pema Chodron calls ‘unconditional confidence’ and ‘shaky tenderness’ towards yourself are what is required. The ability to face the strong waves of sideway glances or ridicule and massive changes, and keep getting up until eventually the waves don’t seem to affect you so much anymore. Accepting that you think differently and you are changing and that is perfectly OK. Being kind to yourself and patient with the changes. Getting out of the negative self-talk patterns by punctuating the sob-stories with silence and the breath.
Take deep breaths and smile.
All things are possible and you are one of the brave. All possibilities are open to you.
And welcome to the beginning of your ascension 🙂