Ashati Ascension 5_Day 17_Spirit Guiding Me

Lately, I have noticed that I am talking to myself more. Not in a weird way…well, maybe haha. I mean that I am noticing my patterns and behaviours even more and am ale to communicate with my ego side to help shift.

I have come to realise that every emotion I feel in response to what happens in my life is a perfect opportunity to NOT judge this and have a conversation with my ego-self about how to move forward together. I am kind and patient and loving towards the response and emotion and I try to understand (by just listening) what is causing the reaction. Then we discuss how we can move forward.

For example. When we did not get a job on the first round of the job search and our plans are delayed, I felt embarrassed and even deeply ashamed. for some reason I cared so much that everyone else would think me a failure. Now my Higher self knows this to be not my truth, but my ego has had too many experiences of shame and being laughed at to think more nobly. It wants to protect me and is horrified that the same thing will happen…I will be laughed at and ashamed and it goes in to action mode to help me avoid that scenario…blame is the usual route of choice but also self doubt, hiding away and avoiding and thinking negative things on the people I know would actually judge me.

I explained that those feelings are in teh past and I can handle things better now. I don’t need to be so protected. It makes for a very interesting discussion which I won’t go into here.

The biggest lesson here is to listen to my inner thoughts and feelings, give them a voice and an opportunity to see things from a different perspective and release old fearful patterns.

Ashati Journey 5…Day 3 Update

Ok, so it’s been three days since my activation. They were felt physically.

Today…I did the symbol clearing of mental and emotional blockages around the body and could easily see that I still have a long way to go 😦  I released quite a lot…SO IT IS!! but I am feeling raw at the thoughts and emotions I saw still there…

  • Still gossipy…making others look bad to make myself feel better 😦
  • Not wishing the best for others…sometimes even feeling good when they don’t succeed 😦
  • Fear of being seen (in a bad light)
  • Fear of not being seen (ignored)
  • Fear of looking stupid
  • Fear of being seen to fail
  • Fear of being seen as wrong
  • Fear of looking fat and ugly and old and useless
  • Fear of being naked and being judged (all of above)

A little disappointed I still have this even though I think of myself as a spiritual person 😦

But I recognise them. I acknowledge them 🙂 I can name them 🙂 I can release them as they no longer serve my highest good.

Onwards and upwards…bring it on. I am flawed and I AM also love. I forgive myself for my flaws and commit to releasing these negative thoughts and beliefs and habits completely from my system.